


Dear Mr Milkovich

by orphan_account



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-01-16 09:50:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ian is a nerdy student with anxiety. Mickey Milkovich is a handsome new teacher. As soon as Ian sees Mr Milkovich he thinks he may be falling in love. He can't say how he feels so he writes it down instead.





	1. Chapter 1

Ian Gallagher, 17 years old with fiery red hair, stood waiting at the bus stop. He was waiting for the bus to take him to hell also known as school. Around him was small groups of friends, of course he wasn't part of any. Ian only had one friend Mandy. She was basically the only person he talked to. Whenever he was around people he got nervous, one of the many perks of having anxiety.

Once the bus came to a stop right in front of him the feeling of dread grew stronger. Ian sat down, luckily by himself. He checked he had everything for like the fourth fucking time today, he pulled out his headphones and tried to drown his fears in classic rock. 

The school came into view. Fuck Ian thought. Without making any eye contact he fast walked to the library. This is where he met Mandy every morning. 

"Hey hot stuff" she teased. 

"Hey Mandy" he gave a smile happy to see her. Then Mandy started to bitch about people in the school. Ian listened as always but after a while he gets distracted. His thoughts either turned to horrible situations that happened ages ago or haven't even happened yet and wont happen. Or he imagined a whole other world/ universe where he was on some big adventure and by his side a beautiful, magnificent... man. Yes not only did he have anxiety, he was gay. 

Mandy was the only person who knew. His parents were completely unpredictable so telling them was a big NO. His 5 siblings would probably be fine with it but he just didn't know how to say it. He's never even said it aloud. When he came out to Mandy it was over text.

After checking his timetable for the third time he went to English. Today he would meet the new teacher. The old one was arrested for being a pedo. Ian walked in the classroom luckily not the first one in there. He sat at the back as always. Then more and more people walked in. The people, they were so loud. People annoyed Ian especially loud ones. He wished he could change that but he had no idea how to. Thee new teacher walked in. 

"Alright everyone I'm gonna be honestly I know jack shit about English so you're all gonna sit down, shut the hell up and learn okay?" He smiled. Fuck Ian thought. His sarcastic smile, his blue eyes, his sort of messy jet black hair, his confidence and no-shit giving attitude. He was gorgeous. Ian's other voice spoke up. Anxiety spoke up. What the fuck is wrong with you he's a teacher. But he's beautiful. Again, he's a fucking teacher. Yeah but look. 

Instead of looking he stared. Anxiety backed down which made this a rare moment. The teacher turned to board and wrote his name 'Mr Milkovich'.


	2. Chapter 2

The lesson was blurry. He couldn't focus on the assignment they were given. Whenever he looked up there he was. Mr Milkovich, he was so distracting. The assignment was to write a short story. That's exactly what Ian does day and night. Yet no words would form in his head.

When the lesson ended Ian felt overjoyed. The other lessons went by much quicker and then he could finally return home. As soon as he got home, he led on his bed and took out his notebook and pen. Ian tried to write a chapter of the story he was writing but thoughts of Mr Milkovich clouded his mind. And so instead he pulled a page out and wrote a letter. A letter he didn't intend to send.

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

This morning I met you. This evening I cant stop thinking about you. It's so strange I know. But I feel something. Something more real then anything i have ever felt. I wished to know you. Though considering the circumstances I know it cannot be. But in my mind I wont be able.to stop imaging a life with you. Waking up to you, making you breakfast. Maybe this is just hormone talk but I don't care I like you Mr Milkovich.

~ Ian Gallagher.'


	3. Chapter 3

It was 1:07 am. Fuck. Ian had spent all night writing his short story for English. It was about two men that were 'friends' and they were on a road trip together (running away into from their problems as Ian wishes to do) and they get lost in some woods. It was a very deep and moving story and Ian was very proud of it. He was just hoping the teacher would be too. 

Ian then led in bed and stared up at the ceiling. He was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep. Images of Mr Milkovich just kept appearing in his head. Sometimes he imagined him teaching the class, then he would be holding their child at their wedding and then he thought of Mr Milkovich completely... naked. He was his fucking teacher. The thought of it haunted him but he couldn't help it. He needed help. But who could he ask. Ian thought long and hard:  
'School counselor - fuck no. His parents - definitely fuck no. Lip or Fiona - nah. Mandy - maybe but she'll probably freak out. Ugh.' 

Ian finally managed to get to sleep but got up late. He got to the bus just as it was starting to leave. Fuck that was embarrassing.

When he walked into English Mr Milkovich was already there. He had his legs up on the desk, he was even more gorgeous then Ian remembered. Which was quite surprising considering he was the only thing Ian could think about. 

"Homework?" Mr Milkovich said in way that wasn't nice or mean. Annoyed maybe? Ian didn't know, he just looked at him, at his sea blue eyes. Mr Milkovich asked again, annoyance definitely present this time. 

"Ah yes...yes" Ian reached into his bag. Another student, an absolute jackass pushed into him. Mr Milkovich became really pissed off. 

"Chad get out of my classroom. I don't give a fuck where you go just leave." Chad laughed and left immediately. The jackass had made stuff fall out of Ian's bag which Ian was knelt down picking up. He went to grab the last thing, a pen but instead grabbed another hand. It was Mr Milkovich's. Oh shit Ian thought. Mr Milkovich handed his hand with a smile and completely shrugged off the fact that Ian accidentally grabbed his hand. For the rest of the lesson Ian was just a ball of nervousness. His leg wouldn't fucking stop shaking. He couldn't stop messing with his pen then his hair then his pen again. He grabbed his hand. His hand! It was softer then he imagined it to be. And yes he purposely imagined how his hand would feel. How he would feel with his hand intertwined with Mr Milkovichs. 

At lunch he was on his own. Mandy had detention for punching a guy in the face. Classic Mandy. Ian sat under a tree and pulled out a piece of paper. 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

Fuck today was embarrassing. I felt your hand and you smiled at me. At me! Personally! Your smile is so beautiful. I hope you like the story I wrote. I kinda based it on us. Stupid I know. I just want to get away from this place. I want to see the world with you and your gorgeous smile. I wish I could talk to you, like you were just another person. But you're not. Your a teacher. I'm starting to kinda feel like a freak. More then usual. I just want to know you Mr Milkovich.

~ Ian Gallagher'


	4. Chapter 4

Ian had a dreadful felling in his stomach. He was walking to English. Luckily this lesson Mandy was going to be there. She was always skipping lessons but the principal threatened to kick her out and so she's going to lesson again but Ian knew it was only a matter of time. That's one of things Ian liked most about Mandy, she was a total badass. Ian wishes he was more like Mandy. Not in the skipping lessons and punching people in the face kind a way but in a confidence way. 

Ian and Mandy went 10 minutes early to English so they would could chat before the lesson but inside was Mr Milkovich. 

"The fuck you doing here Mickey!" Mandy was surprised and pissed off. Mr Milkovich was sat at his desk with his legs up on the desk and smiling sarcastically at Mandy. 

"What I'm your brother I'm supposed to teach you shit." 

Mandy and Mr Milkovich were brother and sister. Holy shit Ian thought. Mandy stormed off leaving Ian alone with him. Ian became extremely nervous. 

"I...uh...I'm gonna go get her back" fuck he was awkward. But Mr Milkovich (or Mickey) chuckled. 

"Wait. You're Gallagher right" Ian nervously giggled. 

"Yes... Uh Ian, Ian Gallagher that's me" Mr Milkovich looked at him with a curious smile. 

"I read your story. I've read many stories from students and let me tell you most of them are a fucking pile a shit but yours its amazing" Ian giggled again. 

"Thank you. Thank you very much" Ian smiled greatly my at him. 

"It's also pretty gay" he looked at Ian all-knowingly. That look and what he had said made Ian's heart drop.

"W.. what?" Words struggled to come out of his mouths, this was all he could manage. Mr Milkovich smiled at him, in an comforting way. 

"You wrote a gay love story which is pretty cute if you ask me but you didn't make that clear. Why?" Ian was screaming inside, his palms were soaked in sweat. Did he just call him cute? Or was it the story? Was he allowed to call him that? Oh like he gives a shit about the rules. Ian just stared, agitated.

"Gallagher... Does anyone know? That you're gay. Look, I know how fucking scary it is to be in the closet so you can tell me" Ian felt like he was talking to an angel. Did he just come out to Ian? Is he gay too?" He was about to speak, not really knowing what he was going to say when the bell went. Thank fuck for that. Mr Milkovich chuckled "saved by the bell Gallagher" he then smiled at Ian. Ian treasured that smile for the rest of the week.

 

Ian's heart was beating so quickly throughout that lesson it felt like it was trying to punch its way out. Then he managed to make his getaway when the bell rung for lunch. Mandy was sat under the tree, looking pissed. 

"Hey Mandy" Ian tried to comfort. 

"My fucking brother is my fucking teacher now. He's a fucking asshole." Mandy was really furious. Ian wanted to ask questions about her brother but couldn't. He had to be a friend now not the weirdo student with a crush on his teacher. 

"He's a good teacher. Maybe this is a good thing he'll take it easy on you." Mandy knew he was right. If she started to beat up someone in a lesson, her brother would probably join in and help her. But still it will be very awkward. After Ian saw that she calmed down, he had some questions to ask. Of course he couldn't ask all of them like what kind of wedding did he want or would he be a stay at home dad or how big was his dick? He really couldn't ask that last one. He and to try to keep his feelings hidden. 

"So how hold is your brother anyway?" Mandy looked at him confused. 

"29 why?" Ian had a mini heart attack. 

"I dunno, hes just seems a bit old to be your brother. Not that hes old but yeah..." Mandy saw that he was having one of his mild panic attacks so she punched his shoulder gently with a smile. 

"You're an odd one Ian Gallagher" Ian laughed. She didn't even know the half of it. 

 

It was night time and after a family meal that consisted of 3 arguments ( this is average for dinner meals) Ian went upstairs and wrote another letter to his crush. 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

Did you come out to me today? I can't tell. But you know that I'm gay now which is relieving and horrible at the same time. Also, you're my best friend's fucking brother. Which was a total shocker indeed.

Fuck, I like you. I cant help myself. All I can imagine is you and me led in bed whispering sweet nothings. Also, I think about fucking you. Sorry about that. I really really really can't help it and trust me I've tried. I just wish we could talk more like we did today. It was amazing. You're amazing. Okay I'm gonna stop now.

~ Ian Gallagher'


	5. Chapter 5

Ian woke up at exactly 7:15 am as always. Fiona came into his room and shut the door. 

"Hey Ian is everything okay with you?" Fiona had been worried about him for a couple of days he just seemed different. Fiona was worried he was on drugs or something. Ian instantly thought of Mr Milkovich but tried to hid it.

"Uh...no. No everything's fine, everything's great" he had been awake 5 mintues and he's already having his first panic attack of the day, that's got to be a record.

"You sure there's nothing going on with you" Fiona sat on his bed and put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Nothing except the usual limitless amount of anxiety" Fiona feels terrible about how they're too poor to get him help like real help. Ian knew that and so quickly tried to comfort her.

"But I'm fine. Honestly" Fiona sadly smiled, she knew he was lying but she thought it was best for him to come to her not the other way round. 

Ian and Fiona went downstairs and had breakfast with the rest of the Gallagher children. Their parents were fuck knows where. Then Ian, Carl and Debbie left for school. Debbie and Carl were excluded for a while because Debbie beat up some slut in her class and Carl filmed it and sent it to everyone. Ian felt a lot better walking to the bus stop with them because if something bad happens, which Ian was always worried about, then they have his back. If even there was no danger they had his back. 

Ian got through the day quite calmly. He was an okay student, usually achieving C's which he was okay with. At lunch Ian was under the tree waiting for Mandy then he got a text from her 'sorry man. A stupid fucking loser walked into me and so now I'm in detention see ya in English ;)' 

English. The lesson he loves/hates most. After eating his lunch and writing a chapter of his story, he wondered the halls of the school and found an empty classroom. Ian sat down and pulled out his notebook. He scribbled notes down when the door opened pulling him back into reality. Before him of all people was Mr Milkovich. 

"Gallagher? Hey have you seen Miss Jackson" Ian's shock had not calmed so he just shook his head. Mr Milkovich stepped inside and closed the door. He strutted over to Miss Jackson's desk and sat on the edge, looking straight at Ian. 

"Ian I'm sorry for making you nervous yesterday. And I don't usual do this, I'm only a teacher for the paycheck but if you want to talk to me you can." His voice was the softest Ian had ever heard it. It was beautiful. 

"Oh okay. Thank you" Ian stuttered. Mr Milkovich smiled. 

"What you doing anyway?" This made Ian panic. 

"Uh...uh it's nothing. Just a load of rubbish" Mr Milkovich raised his eyebrow. 

"Really?" He said in a disbelieving tone. Ian looked down in embarrassment. 

"...it's a story... i'm writing" he said finally. Mr Milkovich smiled widely, he was genuinely excited.

"Oh yeah what's it about?" Ian's anxiety appeared to piss him off, 'he doesn't actually care he's just being nice' was one of things it said to fuck up the situation. But he managed to ignore it. It felt amazing. 

"It's about a guy... An angel who was kicked out of heaven into hell, then kicked out of hell into our world. Crazy I know" Mr Milkovich laughed as if impressed. Ian looked up at him and their eyes met. Ian quickly looked back down again though. 

"Wow. And its crazy in a good way I like it. Does the angel fall in love with a dude" Ian again having a mini heart attack just stuttered. Mr Milkovich got worried. He knelt next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Hey it's okay. Sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you" they were close. Closer then they had very been. Their eyes were level. Ian stared, unable to stop. Ian wanted to kiss him. Grab him by the neck and pull him closer. But of course he was too fucking afraid. And how would Mr Milkovich react anyway? Ian gave a faint smile and answered his question. 

" yes. The angel falls in love with a dude and so I don't have a lot of chance of getting it published." Ian was on the edge of tears though none came through. 

"Fuck that" Mr Milkovich became slightly raged. "Ian I've read you're writing and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off okay. It's amazing never forget that." Ian chuckled. 

"Okay." Was all he could manage to say. Mr Milkovich made him feel like he was in a completely other world. He thinks he may be in love, not some stupid teenager crush. This felt real like true love, true passion, true lust. For fucks sake this just made things worse for him. How was he supposed hide that? Is he hiding it? 

The bell rung breaking their eye contact. Mr Milkovich removed his hand from Ian's shoulder and waited for Ian to pack up his stuff before they walked to English. They walked together! Ian was slightly slower in case anyone thought he was some teachers pet but still. 

The lesson went by pretty quickly. Ian did 3 things that lesson 1. The work, 2. Listen to Mandy bitch about the principal and 3. Stare at Mr Milkovich. His favourite was number 3. 

When Ian got home, all the Gallaghers watched TV, had dinner then everyone went to their rooms before bed. Like he did for the past 2 days Ian got a piece a paper and wrote his heart out. 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

Wow. My god wow. You called me amazing well my writing amazing but yeah wow. And you me feel incredible. Today with you I think I realised that I actually love you. Like love love. I thought it wasn't real but I know what I felt. I hope I'm hiding it well. But then again I don't. I want you to know my feelings. I want to know your feelings. Oh god you probably dont feel the same. Of course not why would you? Fucks sake. I just fucking love you okay. I'm praying that's mutual.

From Ian Gallagher.'


	6. Chapter 6

Ian was in the school hallway with Mandy who was talking about her prick of a dad. Then there was a gasp followed by silence. 

"What the fuck is he doing back?" Mandy whispered. It was Jack Andrews the biggest dick of them all. He was kicked out of school last year but apparently they let him back in. Fuck this guy scared the shit out of Ian.

"Hey babe" Jack pushed in between Ian and Mandy completely blocking Ian. Mandy looked at him pissed. 

"Get the fuck away from me Jack." Mandy and Jack were exes. They dated for about 7 months. Ian tried to convince her to break up with him but she didn't. She actually ended up ditching Ian. Until she caught Jack having sex with an older student.

"Aw babe don't be like that" Jack stroked her cheek which made Ian gag. Mandy hit his hand away. He just sniggered. 

"Babe you're not still mad at me are you? While you were being a bitch, Karen was just way to easy. What was I supposed to do?" Mandy lost her patience, Ian was surprised how long it took. 

"Fuck you and your small dick. Come on Ian" Jack finally noticed Ian. 

"Gallagher! Your back being friends with this loser, babe he's a freak." Mandy glared at him, Jack sarcastically put his hands up like he was scared. "Wow you're so feisty, it turns me on. I was just teasing anyway. I love this guy" Jack punched Ian in the arm which hurt. Like really hurt. Ian just laughed really nervously and avoided eye contact. Then Mandy grabbed Ian's arm and dragged him away while putting her middle finger up to Jack. Jack blew her kiss. Fucking jerk. Ian and Mandy went to their spot under the tree. 

"Sorry I didn't say anything back there" Ian felt so guilty that he could never help her when someone's being a dick to her but Mandy understood.

"Ian don't be sorry. I just can't believe they let that dick head back in." Mandy was really upset. Ian put his hand around her and kissed her head. Mandy leaned her head on his shoulder and gave him a quick cuddle. For the rest of lunch Ian and Mandy talked about random things. Then they went to their last lesson which they both dreaded but for different reasons. The lesson of course was English. 

They were 10 minutes into the lesson until HE came in. 

"Hey hey!" Jack Andrews walked with biggest douche bag smile on his douche bag face. 

"You're late" Mr Milkovich's eyebrows raised in anger. 

"Aw come on sir. I just needed to catch up with someone if you now what I mean" he then mimed having sex. It was disgusting. 

"Just sit the fuck down" Mr Milkovich wasn't taking his shit. Ian admired him even more in that moment. Jack sat down and just talked to his mates for the rest of the lesson. 

The lesson ended 10 minutes early. Mandy went home. She offered him a lift but he always catched the bus with Carl and Debbie so he declined. Ian went over to water fountain outside then a hand grabbed his shirt. He was thrown into the school wall and force stopped him from running away. Ian was shaking frantically and shut his eyes tight. He then slowly opened them to see Jack with his fist in the air.

"I'm gonna say this once and you're gonna fucking listen got it." Ian nodded. "Mandy's mine so stay the fuck away from her." 

"O..okay" Ian first instinct was always to agree. It was really fucking annoying. 

"Good" Jack let him go and ruffled his hair. But then he decided to be more of a dick. Jack grabbed Ian's bag of his shoulder and looked through it. He found the notebook and opened it. Desperately, Ian tried to get it back but Jack just pushed him away. 

"No fucking way. You're a fag. Ha!" Jack laughed, he read some of Ian's story. He didn't find the letters, that was something at least. "You understand why I got to do this right." Jack punched him in the stomach. Then grabbed his face and smashed it into the wall. Ian, crippled, fell to the ground. Blood and tears poured down his face. 

"My babe is no fag hag okay?" Jack chuckled then strutted off. The bell rung for the end of school but Ian couldn't get up, he was too weak. Everyone is going to know now. He was screwed. 20 minutes had passed until he gathered the strength to get up but he would have missed the bus by now. He thought about calling someone but then he decided not to. Ian then struggled down the empty hall. Then he opened a door and fell inside the classroom.

"Ian?" Mr Milkovich, extremely concerned ran over to him and helped him to get on his feet. Then he noticed the cuts on the side of his face. 

"Jesus. come on." Mr Milkovich led him to the staff male toilets. They were so much nicer then the student ones. Ian sat up on the side while Mr Milkovich was in front of him wiping the blood with a damp tissue. Ian winced. 

"Sorry. Fuck this is bad. What happened?" Mr Milkovich was really worried about him. Ian nearly blushed. But, he didn't want to answer he just looked away but Mr Milkovich wasn't taken it. He grabbed Ian's face gently and made him look in his eyes.

"Ian what happened?" His tone had some urgency in it. Ian didn't want to lie though that's kind of all he did to him. 

"It was some kid. He found my story. Now he knows I'm gay, he's gonna tell everyone I'm completely screwed." Ian began to cry. He was terrified. 

"Hey it's okay. It okay" then Mr Milkovich put his arms around Ian. A jolt of pure joy shocked Ian. This was a hug. Ian was hugging Mr Milkovich. Fuck this felt amazing. Mr Milkovich then pulled away and grabbed his shoulders. 

"Ian you are not screwed okay. Fuck who ever did this to you and fuck everyone that cares about your sexuality. You are so smart and so creative you don't need to worry about assholes like this" Ian stared at him looking star struck. Mr Milkovich stared back. They eyes sparkled. Then something amazing happend. They both hesitantly leaned forward. Their eyes closed. Their lips touched. They looked into each others eyes again. Then their lips pressed together, harder this time. The kiss was full of passion. Mr Milkovich had his hands on Ian's neck, stroking his jaw with his thumb while Ian's arms were wrapped around his waist pulling him closer. 

Mr Milkovich pulled back. He looked at Ian. His eyes widened in suprise. Under his breath he whispered "fuck".


	7. Chapter 7

"Wow" Ian felt like he was in a dream. Like a really fucking good dream. He kissed Mr Milkovich! Not just kissed, it was more then that, they used their tongues and everything. Ian's first kiss. It was more amazing then he ever thought it would be and less gross too.

"Holy shit" Mr Milkovich stepped back with his hand over his mouth. "That can never happen again". Ian's face dropped. 

"What? Why not?" The dream was turning into a nightmare. 

"Because its fucking... fuck. It just can't happen again okay?" Ian looked down. It felt like his heart was just pulled out of his body and stomped on.

Mr Milkovich stared at him. His eyes were pitiful towards Ian. And also lustful. "For fucks sake." He then forcefully grabbed Ian's head and kissed him again. The kiss much harder and longer then the one before. The kiss became a make out. Like a proper make out. When they broke Ian had a gigantic grin. 

"Wow." He giggled. Mr Milkovich stepped back again. 

"Jesus fucking christ. I'm fucked. Im completely fucked." Then he looked at Ian and his cuts started to bleed again. "Fuck. Who did this to you Gallagher" his tone was very serious. Ian was too dazed to properly process what he asked. 

"Did what?" Then it came to him, the pain. He felt his forehead then saw his blooded fingers. "Oh that". Then the memory of Jack ruined how amazing he was felt. 

"It doesn't matter" Mr Milkovich bit his lip in pity. 

"Ian..." Suddenly Ian got really frustrated. 

"No you don't understand." Ians hands were shaky and he felt the tears coming back. Mr Milkovich, against his instincts, held Ian in his arms again. Ian tightly cuddled back. 

"Jesus Ian, you've really gotten under my skin" Mr Milkovichs voice was so soft, it was beautiful, Ian loved it. And loved what he said. Finding out that Mr Milkovich liked him back so the best feeling, his heart spared with joy. Then the two broke apart. Ian smiled at him, his smile flirty. 

"No dont look at me like that." Mr Milkovich's voice was demanding but slightly amused at the same time. Ian chuckled and pulled the same smile. 

"Stop" Mr Milkovich half begged with a snigger he tried to control unsuccessfully. 

"Why?" Ian looked at him with puppy eyes and a fake cute frown. Mr Milkovich laughed. 

"Fuck you Gallagher" he said with frustrated amusement. "Are you allowed to say that to a student" Ian asked playfully. "Oh so now you care about what I'm allowed to do. I think wanting to fucking kiss a student is a lot fucking worse." Ian had the biggest grin, then the smile trained sad. "No ones ever wanted to kiss me before." Mr Milkovichs heart broke a bit. Then Ian leaned forward to kiss him again.

"What did I just say? That can't happen again." Ian raised his eyebrow. 

"Yeah that was before you kissed me so I thought you were taking it back" Mr Milkovich stared at Ian for a moment. Ian stared back. 

"Well I wasn't... Look I have to go do some teacher shit. I'll see ya tomorrow okay?" Mr Milkovich was about to walk away when Ian grabbed his arm. Then he had one of his infamous heart attacks. 

"Uh... I need a ride home. Would you mind?" He was desperate to spend more time with him which was evident in his voice.

"Fuck sake come on then" Mr Milkovich and Ian went to his car, Ian walked with a massive grin he couldn't control. He was about was about to get in the front seat of Mr Milkovich's car. 

"Get in the back." Ian looked at him confused. 

"Why?" He asked puzzled with aging of nervousenss. Mr Milkovich raised his eyebrow and his nose flared. 

"Cause if anyone see us. I don't want anyone getting any fucking ideas" Ian just went along with. 

The car journey to Ian's house was the most awkward thing Ian had ever been thorough and that was truly impressive. 

"See ya Gallagher" Mr Milkovich said not looking at him. 

"Bye Mr Milkovich" Ian got out the car, though he really didn't want to. He then walked into the Gallagher house. 

"Jesus what the fuck happened Ian" it was Lip. 

"Don't worry about it" Lip stared at him bewildered. 

"Ian who did this to you?" Ian ignored his question and everyone else's. After while everyone left him be to sort his head out. Ian had a shower then got straight into bed. He was going to write a chapter of his book but then Jack came into his head. He felt too scared to write it and so he wrote something else instead. 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

Wow. Just wow. Today went from being the worst to the best. We kissed. Ha. It feels so amazing to actually be able to say that. It was unbelievable. Your lips are so soft and taste like bacon. It's so cool. And I know you feel weird about the whole thing. I do to but now I know there really is something between us. Now I'm not some freak with a useless crush. I actually think I'm falling in love you Mickey Milkovich. Wow, that's the first time I've written your name but don't worry I won't call you it cause I know you would get really pissed then. 

Mr Milkovich I think if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be able to go into school tomorrow. Im going to but I'm really fucking scared. I just hope if anything else happens you will be right there for me to run to. I hope you'll cuddle me in your arms like you did earlier. I love your hugs. When I was in your arms I actually felt safe like nothing could hurt me, physically or emotionally. God I'm really falling for you. I hope you feel the same. But now I know theres a chance that you do. Which is just fucking incredible.

Lots of love from Ian Gallagher'


	8. Chapter 8

Ian stood by his locker. Frantically, he examined everyone that passed him. No dirty looks. No shitty comments. Something wasn't right. Maybe Jack didn't tell anyone Ian's gay. Bullshit. Maybe no one gives a shit. In this school... bullshit. Ian was used to being ignored, he loved it. But today it terrified him. 

Ping! Ian panicked to pull out his phone. It was a text from Mandy '991 meet by tree.'

That cant be good... Ian hurried over to an anxious Mandy. 

"Mandy what's wr..." Mandy grabbed his shoulders and looked pitifully at his cuts. She was silent for a moment. 

"Ian we cant hang at school anymore" Mandy's eyes were bloodshot. That meant she was on the verge of tears. Ian's only seen her cry once when Jack cheated on her. This really isn't good.

"Why? Mandy what's going on" she was about to answer when she got interrupted. 

"Babe. What's going on here then huh?" Fucking Jack. He came over doing his douche bag strut and put an arm around Mandy. 

"Nothing babe..."'Mandy answered. Babe? What the fuck Ian thought. 

"Good. Lets go." He smirked at Ian and practically dragged Mandy away. Helplessly, Ian watched them walk off. He knew Jack was an absolute dick head but this was unbelievable. He wanted to do something but what could he do? Then he waited to see the person he thought would solve everything.

"The fuck do you want me to about it?" Mr Milkovich glared at Ian in confusion after he told him about Mandy. 

"She's your sister! He's blackmailing her!" Ian slammed his hands on his desk, his arms were shaking a bit but his stare was intense. 

"Gallagher you clearly don't know my sister" 

"He's blackmailing her!" 

"Oh yeah with what?" Ian flinched. He took a deep breath and looked defeated. Then he gently rubbed the cuts on his face. Mr Milkovich's annoyed expression turned sympathetic. 

"Fuck Ian. HE did that to you" Ian nodded. "So no one knows your gay but if Mandy... fuck" Mr Milkovich pinched the top of his nose. Then slumped back, his expression showed that he was analysing in his head.

"Please do something." Ian begged. 

"Alright but we have to be careful." Ian frowned in confusion.

"We? What can I do" Mr Milkovich looked at him like he was completely stupid. 

"You're the fucking smart one I need that brain of yours. Also I need to not get fired not that you care about that." Ian smiled in relief and that he was referencing their kiss. Which Ian was still screaming inside about. 

"Thank you. Uh... can I kiss you" Mr Milkovich pretended to do work. 

"No fuck off." Despite the words he wasn't aggressive. And so Ian did it anyway. He grabbed Mr Milkovich's face and pressed on his lips with his own. 

"Thank you!" He called while getting away. Mr Milkovich smiled watching him leave. Then the bell went and so Ian awkwardly came back in again. Mr Milkovich's eyebrows were raised, trying to look more pissed then he actually was. 

"Uh... hi" Ian nervously spoke before sitting down for the lesson.


	9. Chapter 9

"So what's the plan." Ian excitingly barged into Mr Milkovich's classroom as soon as the final bell rung. The older man looked at him, slightly pissed.

"No idea that's why I need you" Ian looked confused. 

"I don't know what to do." Ian shrugged at him, completely clueless. 

"Well fucking sit down and think." Ian did as instructed. After an hour of coming up with absolutely nothing Mr Milkovich bursted in outrage. He slammed his fists into his desk and threw all the papers on to the floor. Ian went to him and put an arm around him.

"Hey it's okay, we'll find away. I promise" Ian smiled at him. 

"How can you be so fucking optimistic." Mr Milkovich was really pissed off. He then noticed Ian's arm around him so he pushed it away. 

"Stop. Just stop Ian." Mr Milkovich stepped back away from him. Confused and disappointed, Ian stared at him.

"Mickey..." Ian began. Fuck he was being risky calling him that. Mr Milkovich looked really pissed now.

"Don't call me that, don't fucking call me that. You don't think this is hard enough for me" Ian's heart broke. He realized he was being kind of selfish. He thought he was the only one having a hard time with this situation, he never even considered how Mr Milkovich was feeling. Except from him feeling feelings for Ian, that's something he thought about a lot. 

"I'm sorry." Was all he could manage. His voice crackled with outpouring emotion. 

"Fuck Ian." Mr Milkovich stepped close to Ian. "Let's just focus on Mandy and sort this shit out after okay?" Ian nodded. 

They thought and thought but all the ideas were useless or would end up in both or one of them getting into trouble. Fuck this was difficult. They had to be smart, really smart. After a while Mr Milkovichs frown changed, he now looked heart broken. Ian noticed and wanted to cheer him up but didn't want to piss him off either.

"Hey I know you're worried about everything..." Ian sat up on the desk right next to Mr Milkovich. He reached his hand out to grab his shoulder but was stopped. Mr Milkovich seized his wrist without looking. Then he hesitantly turned his head to look up at Ian. They stayed like that for an long intense moment.

"Fuck sake" Mr Milkovich stood up and pressed his lips into Ian's. Ian kissed back almost violently. They both tightly grabbed at each others bodies, rubbing every inch. Ian undid one of Mr Milkovich's buttons which made him step back in suprise. 

"Have you even ever done this before?" Ian frowned then realized what he had meant. 

"Oh you mean that... No I haven't" Ian looked down in embarrassment. 

"I can't take... I can't take your... virginity Ian. You deserve better then that, better then me" Ian shot his head up, slightly angry. Showing anger was rare for Ian. 

"I deserve what I want, which is you." Ian's never had this much confidence before. It was like he was absorbing it from Mr Milkovich. He was the only one who made Ian feel good about himself. Mr Milkovich huffed, impressed. After Ian had calmed down a bit and Mr Milkovich frowned, debating in his mind what to do next, the two stepped into each other and kissed once again. 

"After this we have to be done okay?" Mickey stated, Ian nodded, but not really agreeing to anything. They kissed deeply. Then they slowed. Mr Milkovich held Ian's hand and led him to the small office connected to his classroom. He lifted Ian onto a small desk and was between his open legs. Ian curled his legs around Mr Milkovich's. Gently they kissed. 

"You sure about this?" Mr Milkovich asked, his tone very serious.

"Yes I'm sure, Mickey." Ian felt wonderful. He never thought he would meet someone so considerate in his life. Mickey cautiously undid Ian's belt. With as much caution he slowly pulled Ian's pants and underwear down. Then he looked at Ian and gently kissed him again before lowering himself to the ground, to give ian his very first blow job.

Ian's whole life changed in that moment. Fuck it was a good moment too. When it came to an unwanted end Mickey looked at him, his eyes full of guilt. 

"Um... Thank you. Oh shit that was a stupid thing to say. Uh... It was great, thanks... Oh shit I said it again" Ian panicked trying to help him not feel bad. Mickey chuckled. 

"Why do you have to be so fucking cute?" Mickeys guilt disappeared or at least wasn't visible, which made Ian full of joy. Then Mickey got serious again. "Ian promise me nothing will happen between us again. I need this job. I NEED it okay?" Ian disappointingly nodded. 

Ian went home and went straight to his bedroom and cuddled his pillow. Then as he always did when he felt upset he wrote. 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

You gave and took away. Literally. We made love (though you did most of it but still). I know it's stupid to thank someone for sex but thank you. Thank you very much. Then there was the taking away part. That sucked, really sucked (pun not intended). Fuck you know what I want. To go to Paris. With you. To be free of this place and just be together. I hope that's what you want. Anyway I'm going to try to not do anything... you know. And I hope we can do something about fucking Jack. I know we have to be careful but I really want to see you knock him out or something. 

I miss you already Mickey.

Love from Ian Gallagher'


	10. Chapter 10

Ian was alone under the tree in the morning. He had been alone since Jack came right back into his fucking life. Then he fucking walked by, being a jerk like always with Mandy as nervous as ever under his arm. She looked up at him with sad eyes then looked away. Then Jack noticed Ian and stopped. 

"Gallagher it's nice to see you man" Jack mocked as he strode up to the tree. 

"why don't we just..." Mandy tried to pull him away but he forcefully kept her by his side.

"Hey now, I'm just been nice to the guy, isn't that right?" He looked and sounded like he was talking to a child. He then noticed Ian's notebook in his hand.

"Hey are you writing that story I read cause sorry to tell you this but it's pretty shit, way too gay" he then chuckled like an absolute dick. Ian thought about Mr Milkovich and how he said to be careful. He then completely ignored it. Ian lunged towards Jack and pushed him to the ground. Quickly he got on top and repeatedly sent his fists into Jack's face. Mandy stepped back, trying to stop from grinning. Then Jack gained strength and threw Ian off of him and pinned him down and returned the punches to the face. Next someone wrapped their arms around Jack and flung him to the side, he then stood up, readying to fight.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jack asked his new attacker. The guy answered "you're worst nightmare" then he punched Jack right in the face. Ian watched in utter shock and a bleeding nose. The new guy was dressed in all black. Black jeans, black t- shirt and black fingerless gloves. Jack and the guy wrestled each other as a crowd gathered around, shouting and cheering. The guy in black must have had training because he was fucking amazing. After only a few moments he punched Jack in the head, knocking him out. The crowd cheered wildly. 

The mysterious guy who looked like a new student went over to Ian and Mandy straight afterwards.

"You know you should pick your fights more wisely" he smirked at them, his accent was posh British. 

"Thank you so much..." Ian stared dazed at the guy. He was very attractive Ian thought.

"You're very welcome and it's a pleasure to meet you both" the guy bowed as he walked away from them.

"Hey we didn't catch your name" Mandy called out. The guy paused and turned on his heel. 

"What's in a name anyway..." He grinned mysteriously. Then walked away again.

"Weirdo" Mandy muttered under her breath. Ian chuckled at her reaction to him. Mandy then looked up at Ian "Hey congrats on you know" she pointed at Jack's unconscious body that had people around it trying to wake him up. "I'm so proud of you man" she smiled at him and gave him a friendly punch. Then the principal stormed over to them. 

"Gallagher clean up and get into my office now!" He yelled. 

"Uh.. yes sir" Ian started to panic.

He went to the toilets and washed the blood of his face. Then he cautiously trudged to the principals office. The principal yelled at him some more but Ian was only really half listening, his mind was too distracted. 

"I'm sending you home today and you are to return Monday as the well behaved student you were, is that clear?" Ian nodded. 

"Yes sir" he half whispered while standing up to leave. 

"Actually hold on a second." Oh shit Ian thought. "You're English teacher... Mr Milkovich told me he has some concerns about your grades and thought it be best you go into a different class with a different teacher." Ian's mouth dropped. His mind raced wildly. He actually felt weaker then when he was attacked earlier that day. Yes has been getting lower grades in English but he knew that's not why this is happening. Fuck Ian thought. He didn't want another teacher. He wanted Mr Milkovich. The principal waited for a response but continued when he didn't get one "you will change classes on Monday sorry about his but it's for your own benefit". 

 

The bell went for break so instead of leaving Ian headed straight for Mr Milkovichs classroom. 

"You're kicking me out!" Ian stared at him, nervous but very intense. 

"Ian I did that for the both of us. Anyway I should be mad at you, Ian what the fuck were you thinking going after that motherfucker like that!" Mr Milkovich shouted at him. Ian flinched and frowned in confusion and heartache. Mr Milkovich took deep breaths to calm himself down "Im sorry. I just don't want you to get into trouble okay?" Ian groaned then stormed off with his hands in tight fists. 

Then he finally arrived home after having to walk. 

"Why are you home Ian?" Fiona sounded worried and a little pissed after seeing the added damage done to his face. "Ian what happened" she touched his bruising nose making him flinch. 

"I got into a fight" Ian couldn't be bothered to lie. Fiona sighed "Jesus Ian I thought you were the only Gallagher not to get into fights" Fiona sounded like she was joking but was serious, she was getting a little concerned about him. 

"Never say never right?" Ian gave a kind of smile before going upstairs. The rage at Mr Milkovich boiled within. So with frustration he ripped a piece of paper and scribbled down what he thought. 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Lots of love from Ian Gallagher

P.S. did I mention fuck you, 'cause seriously fuck you!'


	11. Chapter 11

A week has passed since Mr Milkovich decided to kick Ian out of his class. Ian of course was still really pissed about it. Whenever Mandy asked what was wrong with him, he just said it was family shit and the fact that everyone now knows Ian's gay. He hated lying to Mandy but what was he supposed to say? "Oh yeah I'm upset cause I'm in love with your brother whose also our teacher and we've made out a couple times and he's sucked my dick but now he's being a total douche." Jesus this situation is fucked up. And yes, everyone knows Ian's gay. Jack told the whole school after the fight. But it wasn't as bad as he thought. Yeah, he got shitty comments every so often and people stared sometimes but he's kind of glad every one knows. He doesn't have to hide himself anymore, it's actually a relief. Mandy's also back to being his best friend which is amazing.

Ian's new English teacher was Mr Jackson, total dick. He was the strictest teacher in the whole school and everyone hated him. Ian worked extremely hard in his lesson so he can go back into Mr Milkovich's class. And last Friday he had a meeting with the principal who told him he was going back. So on Monday morning he could rub it in Mr Milkovich's face. He was so excited about it. Over the past week Ian wrote 27 letters. All of them like the following:

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

You're a fucking dick. And a bitch. And a son of a bitch. And a bastard. And a motherfucker. And a dick head. And a dumbass. Fuck you!

~ Ian Gallagher'

 

'Dear Mr Milkovich

I hate you.

~ Ian Gallagher'

 

And after the meeting on Friday: 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

Ha! I'm coming back. Beware Bitch!!!!!!!

Lots of love from Ian Gallagher'

 

Monday morning. Ian stood with Carl and Debbie at the bus stop. He was smiling uncontrollably. All the Gallaghers started to think he was on drugs, but that didn't bother Ian. When the bus arrived at the school he went to the library to meet Mandy. 

"You seem happy." Mandy eyed him up suspiciously. 

"No more then usual" Ian grinned widely. She was about to respond then something caught her eye. 

"Hey isn't that the weirdo who beat up Jack" 

The British guy was sat alone reading a book with his legs up on the table. He hadn't been in last week so they thought he wasn't coming back but apparently not. 

"Yeah it is. Should we go talk to him?" Ian asked, curious to know more about him.

"Why?" Mandy looked at him like he was completely stupid. Ian just shrugged in response. Then he looked at his watch, it was 5 minutes to first lesson. English. Ian told Mandy he had to go early and rushed off. When he arrived outside English, Mr Milkovich was already there, doing some work. Ian stood staring at him for a few moments figuring out what to say. Then he barged in.

"Did you really think that would get rid of me?" Mr Milkovich looked up at him, annoyed. 

"Come on, you think I wanted to do that. You think that wasn't hard for me. It's actually been weird not having you staring at me at the back." Ian tensed, that made him very nervous. Mr Milkovich genuinely seemed upset, though he was trying to hid it. 

"Then why do it? Why push me away?" Ian eyes begged for a response. Then the bell went. 

"I'm sorry Ian" Mr Milkovich said before people started flooding in. 

The lesson had started 10 minutes ago when the British dude walked in. 

"Sorry for being late the principal was speaking to me." He apologized and he actually seemed genuine. 

"It's fine just sit down" Mr Milkovich told him. He sat at the back where Ian and Mandy were.

"Well we meet again" he smiled at them. Mandy returned it with a slight frown but Ian smiled back.

"Hey, um... I just wanted to thank you for what did" 

"Mate don't worry about it. I'm Adrian by the way" he smiled again greatly. Mandy frowned even more.

"I thought weren't allowed to know your name" Adrian laughed. 

"I don't exactly remember saying that" Ian then decide to help him out.

"Don't worry about her, Mandy's always like that. I'm Ian." Mandy gave him a dirty look which made Adrian smile again. 

"It's nice to meet you Ian and Mandy" 

 

The lesson went by very slowly. They had to work in silence and every time Ian looked up there he was. Mr fucking Milkovich, with his perfected look. It was like falling in love with him all over again but this time he really, really didn't want to. He hated himself for it but couldn't help it. Maybe he was better off in Mr Jackson's class after all. When Ian got home he felt defeated. He slumped down on his bed and wrote another letter. 

'Dear Mr Milkovich,

Why? Just why? Why do I have to fucking like you? It's fucking me up. Like really badly. I hate that I like you. But I also kind of hate that I hate liking you. Does that even make sense? Oh who cares no one reads these stupid fucking letters anyway. Jesus Christ I fell ike I'm falling apart. 

I am begging you please just be how you are in my head. Fearless and... mine. I know that's a lot to ask but still.

Love from Ian Gallagher' 

 

Ian continued to write letters like this for the next week. Also, during the week Ian and Adrian became close. Mandy still thought he was a weirdo, so did Ian, but she started warming up to him. Though he was kind of secretive Ian really liked him. So much that he invited him and Mandy round his house for his birthday 'party'. Ian hated parties and so he would always just invite Mandy round for a night, not that he had anyone else to invite. But this year he had two people to invite which made him more excited then he thought he would be. He felt like a kid again.


	12. Chapter 12

"We've known him for over a week now and he hasn't sworn once. Have you noticed that?" Mandy and Ian were on the bus and she was trying to figure out Adrian. 

"He's posh" Ian smiled at her with a raised eyebrow.

"He's weird" Mandy returned. 

"I heard that people who don't swear are most likely psychos that kill people in their sleep." Carl barged into the conversation, delightful as always. 

"Carl I don't think Adrian is gonna kill anyone tonight." Ian said amused.

"You don't know that." Carl responded.

"You're such a fucking idiot" Debbie yelled at him, then the two started arguing. 

"Are you sure inviting him to you're house was a good idea. How much do you really know about him?" Mandy asked Ian. He gave her a smile and answered "He's just... interesting". Mandy rolled her eyes in frustrating defeat.

 

Mandy came home with the Gallaghers to get ready for the small party they were having tonight. Adrian came at around 6. Wearing all black with the same fingerless gloves he always wore but he was fancier then usual. After hours of partying and drinking (not Ian though, he never drinks alcohol) the three of them went to Ian's room. 

"Ian, mate your family know how to throw a party" Adrian said as he slumped down on a chair, Ian and Mandy sat on the bed. Ian laughed "yeah it's basically in our genes". 

"Do your parents even let you drink" Mandy obviously couldn't wait to begin the interrogation. Adrian chuckled, in slight nervousness.

"Uh... I don't know but my Auntie and Uncle are highly against it." Adrian gave a slightly annoyed but sad smile. 

"I'm sorry Adrian. What happened..." Ian said, then Adrian interrupted him. 

"Don't worry about it. Haven't seen them in 2 years so..." He shrugged, seemingly okay with it. Then Mandy went straight to the next question. 

"So what do you like to do?" Mandy grinned slightly at him. Adrian chuckled again. 

"I'll show you" he reached into his bag and pulled out a notebook and threw it on the bed. Ian opened it up to a drawing with coloured powder thrown onto it. It was beautiful. Ian flipped through the pages with Mandy staring hard at the book. They were drawings, paintings, everything, each exploding with colour. "Wow" Ian was taken aback by how amazing they were. 

"Thanks. So Mandy what do you like to do?" He asked with a kind of mocking smile. 

"I don't like you enough to tell you" Mandy eyes were locked onto him like he was her pray. Ian nudged her "Mandy". 

"What?" She asked, pretending to be innocent. Adrian grinned at them. 

"Well I'm grateful you like me, even if it's a little bit. Ian what do you do?" He asked. 

"Uh... I write" Ian's face went a little red. Adrian looked surprised with a smile. 

"Got anything I can read" Adrian actually seemed excited by this, it made Ian grin greatly. 

"Uh... Yeah of course" Ian grabbed a random short story of his and gave it to Adrian. When he sat down Mandy gave him a look like he was making the biggest mistake of his life. Ian returned it with a smile and shrug. 

"Mate this is brilliant." Adrian finally said and was genuine. Ian couldn't believe it. 

"Really?" 

"You've got talent, mate" Adrian smiled at him, which made him have a gigantic grin. 

"So Adrian you got a girlfriend" Mandy got impatient with their friendly conversation. Then Adrian seemed to change slightly. 

"Uh... no" Mandy frowned, seeing that it affected him. But she kept going only more gentle. 

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" Adrian chuckled in nervousness and couldn't make eye contact with her. 

"Uh, no" Ian saw he was being affected so he quickly changed the subject "hey why don't we watch a movie". 

"I would love that" Adrian said. 

 

The three of them gathered around Ian's TV and watched Wizard of Oz, Ian's choice. Then one after the other they showered. Adrian was the last to shower and on his way to Ian's bedroom he ran into another Gallagher. 

"Have you ever killed anyone?" Carl asked with a curious tone, nothing about him showed it was a joke. It wasn't. 

"Uh... no. But I have probably, like most people, done something thats created a sequence of events that's lead to someone's death." Adrian smiled kind of cockily at him. Carl grunted and walked away. Adrian shrugged it off and and went into Ian's room. Ian spent the rest of the night on his laptop, Mandy on her phone and Adrian drew in his notebook. Then they all fell asleep. 

In the night Adrian got up needing a drink. When he went back he accidently knocked into a cupboard. Luckily, he didn't wake anyone but something had fell from behind. Curious, Adrian grabbed what had fallen and examined the papers. He smiled greatly at them. They confirmed his theory. His theory that Ian was in love with Mr Milkovich.


	13. Chapter 13

Ian was the first to wake up. He went to the toilet and came back to Mandy and Adrian awake. The atmosphere was strange. 

"Good morning to the two of you" Adrian finally said after awkward silence. 

"Morning" Ian said with a smile. Mandy frowned at Ian. 

"So Adrian got another plans this weekend" Mandy started interrogating him again. 

"I will probably just do some drugs, may kill a few people as well" Adrian sarcastically grinned at her. Ian giggled at his response. 

"Fuck you." Mandy spat at Adrian. Though she was less aggressive then she usually was, Ian thought. Then her phone went off. 

"Crap. I should get ready, I'm meeting Archie in a bit" Ian rolled his eyes. Archie was the second biggest jerk in school just before Jack and now Mandy's boyfriend for the 3rd time. 

"Wait, is Archie your boyfriend?" Adrian looked curious at her and seemed slightly off. 

"Yeah why do you give a shit?" Mandy asked, hostile.

"I don't" Adrian shrugged. 

"Well I hope this is third time lucky" Ian teased but with a pissed expression. 

"Ian you've never... You've never, you know been in love so you wouldn't understand." Mandy said. Adrian put his head down, hiding his grin. Ian tensed up in nervousness but then managed to speak "are you in love with him though?" He looked at her slightly worriedly. 

"Maybe." Mandy looked away. Ian knew for a fact she wasn't. He hated when she had a boyfriend like Archie. Hell, all her boyfriends are like Archie. "I love you but why can't you just go to some gay bar, fall in love and focus on your own love life instead of fucking with mine." She smiled at him and he smiled back. 

"You know I can't go to a normal bar on my own let alone a gay bar" Ian responded. 

"Well I know the perfect gay bar up in the Northside" Adrian said, grinning at the two. 

"You've been to a gay bar. You're gay?" Mandy asked, surprised.

"I've been to 3 and no I'm not gay. I'm pansexual" Adrian smiled at her, she looked at him very confused. He huffed in amusement and explained for her "meaning to love without a care for gender". Ian grinned, for ages he felt like a freak not knowing any other LGBT+ people, now thats changed and Ian felt so relieved. 

"Huh." Mandy said before her phone went off again. "Hey sorry Ian I gotta go". Mandy went to the bathroom to change. 

"So would you really go with me to a bar?" Ian asked. Adrian shrugged "why not?" He smiled greatly. Ian smiled to. He was excited of course but then someone appeared in his. Mr Milkovich. He was still really pissed but his heart longed for him. Mandy came back and hugged Ian. "See ya later". She then looked suspiciously at Adrian once more "bye Adrian", he waved at her. Then she left. 

"I hate to leave also but my auntie will be here shortly." Adrian said after a few moments of silence. 

"Yeah of course, that's fine" Ian smiled, though slightly disappointed. Adrian got dressed and then came back in. "Hey why don't we go tonight... to that bar, I could get us a motel room and everything" Ian looked up at him surprised. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah think of it as a birthday gift" Adrian gave a friendly grin. 

"That would actually be great" Ian couldn't help but laugh. 

"Great, I'll pick you up at 8 okay mate?" Ian nodded. Adrian said his goodbyes and left. 

 

8 o'clock. Ian stood in his room slightly nervous. Adrian's car pulled up then Ian made his way outside. He told Fiona he was just going over Adrian's house as he still wasn't out yet. The car journey was about 20 minutes, they talked and joked all the way there. Ian was starting to really like Adrian. The two then arrived and at a bar called the fairy tail. Inside was lots of gay men kissing, dancing, laughing. Ian's face instantly brightened up.


	14. Chapter 14

Ian stood fascinated in the bright lights, blazing music and excited, horny gay men. The first 10 minutes were perfect, then his mind wandered. Sure being here with Adrian was great but there was someone he preferred to be with. Mr Milkovich. He hated how much he thought about him. How much he longed for him. How much he loved him. But he just couldn't help himself. 

Adrian put a hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. He grinned at Ian then lead him to a booth. 

"So I know you're not much of a drinker mate but theres a cocktail you just have to try" Adrian said with a grin. Ian frowned ay him. 

"But were both 18..." Ian began, then Adrian interrupted. 

"According to this I'm not" he grinned mischievously and held up a drivers license. 

"You have a fake ID?" Ian examined the card. 

"You don't?" Adrian raised his eyebrow at him, but had a friendly smile. 

"No. Where? How?" Ian tried to ask but was too shocked. He chuckled at Ian, then went off to buy some drinks. Ian sat nervously waiting for him to come back. An older man across the room was checking Ian out. When Ian noticed he just smiled and quickly looked away. Then the man walked over. 

"Hey there red head" the man said with an overly confident expression. "Uh..uh" Ian tried to respond. 

"Hey babe, here's the drinks" Adrian luckily interrupted and so the man walked away, 

"Did you just call me babe?" Ian asked. 

"Yeah some guys can be creepy here. I'm surprised he didn't try for a threesome"' his tone was playful but it wasn't a joke. Ian chuckled.

"Jesus. Anyway thanks for that." He smiled. Adrian grinned back and took a sip of his cocktail. Ian then stared at his drink with a nervous frown. 

"You don't have to, you know" Adrian said. 

"No... no its fine"' Ian returned. Then he took a big sip. It was horrific. Ian choked, then made disgusted noises. Adrian laughed. 

"Mate, for a first time drinker you might want take smaller sips." Adrian had an amused frown. Ian chuckled in agreement. 

"So you know what you said this morning?" Ian began. Adrian nodded with a small grin. "Have you ever... been with anyone, like... in love?" Ian asked. Adrian looked down and shrugged. 

"A long time ago, maybe" Adrian looked up at him. Ian looked back and saw a hint of pain in his eyes and so he decided to leave it. 

"What about you? Ever been in love?" Adrian asked, though knowing the answer. Ian had a mini heart attack. 

"Uh... no. Never." Ian said, way too nervously. Adrian's eyebrow shot up "okay" he said with a grin. 

A few hours passed. Ian and Adrian had more drinks, mostly Ian though. Adrian sat alone in the booth staring at the door, every 2 minutes he checked his phone for the time. Then through the door walked a man. The man he had been waiting for. Mr Milkovich.


	15. Chapter 15

Mr Milkovich scanned the room looking for his Grindr date. His date said that he was in a booth so he looked at each one. In one of them was a guy who was laid back and raised his drink at him. Mr Milkovich recognised him and as soon as he realized how, he walked over. "Good evening sir. Looking for someone?" Adrian sarcastically grinned and held up his phone showing his fake Grindr profile. "You fucking cat fished me?" Mr Milkovich half yelled. Adrian stared up at him then took a shot. 

"Why, is that such a bad thing?" Adrian asked with a pissed off expression. 

"Yes its a fucking bad thing. Believe or not I can't go round fucking with students" Mr Milkovich shouted in frustration. 

"Didn't stop you before though did it?" Adrian stared at Mr Milkovich. He wanted to respond but didn't know how to. Adrian continued "speaking of students you've fucked around with... I gave Ian his first alcoholic drink now that's happening" Adrian pointed across the room to where Ian was dancing with a older man, that was getting a little to close for comfort. Mr Milkovich stormed over there. As Adrian watch him leave he spoke under his breath "Nice to see you too Mickey..."

Mr Milkovich yanked the man away from Ian "why don't you fuck guys your own age prick", he said making the man run away. 

"Mickey?" Ian stared at him, shocked. Mr Milkovich took one look at him then grabbed his arm and dragged him outside. There was a small field just a minutes walk away which Mr Milkovich headed straight for. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ian yelled. 

"How does your creepy emo boyfriend know about us?" Mr Milkovich snapped, slightly panicked. Ians mind went blank. Shock over took his body making him immobile. "What?" He stuttered. His mind then went crazy. He had no idea how Adrian knew. After a few moments he realized. The only way he could have known is if he read the letters. 

"For fucks sake! How did he find out?" Mr Milkovich screamed, staring at Ian with overwhelming intensity. 

"I don't know" Ian lied, too embarrassed to tell the truth. "I never told him". 

"FUCK! This guy is a fucking creep, how about for once you try not getting involved with guys you shouldn't, like that fuck head I just had to save your ass from." Frustrated, Mr Milkovich was about to continue but then was interrupted. Ian, with as much force as he could muster swung his fist straight into Mickey's mouth sending him back.

"What the fuck Ian!" Mr Milkovich cried before spitting out blood. 

"Fuck you Mickey. You're a fucking prick. I can't have you but I'm not allowed anyone else. Does that seem fair to you huh?" Ian shouted. Mr Milkovich clenched his fists, his nose was flaring uncontrollably.

"Shut up" Mr Milkovich said trying to calm down. Ian saw his rage. "Come on tough guy hit me! Go on. Prove your not the pussy I think you are." Mickey tried to hold back but couldn't. He sent a powerful blow into Ian's stomach with his fists. Ian held his stomach for a moment before lunging himself into Mr Milkovich tackling him to the floor. Ian sent multiple punches to the face which Mr Milkovich returned. Then they suddenly stopped. Ian fell next to him and the two just led there. After a while of silence Mr Milkovich began to laugh. Ian frowned at him with a grin. 

"What?" Ian asked. 

"That was just fucking... Brilliant. I'm fucking proud of you." Mr Milkovich laughed again, then Ian laughed with him. 

"Proud enough to kiss me" Ian adorably teased. Mr Milkovich chuckled nervously. Then after hesitation he said "fuck yeah". He pressed his lips into Ian's. Ian kissed back, open mouthed with lots of tongue. The two made out on the grass for a very long time. 

When Ian and Mr Milkovich stood up to go back inside Ian looked at his phone. He had a text from Adrian 'hey mate i booked a room at Midnight Motel under Gallagher. Hope u 2 have fun ;) And don't worry my lips are sealed.' Ian stared at it bewildered. 

"What's wrong?" Mr Milkovich asked. Ian just shrugged. Then he grinned widely. 

"Do you wanna stay at a motel... With me?" Ian nervously asked worried that the answer would be no. Mr Milkovich bit his lip. 

"I hate you sometimes Gallagher" he joked. 

"Is that a yes?" Ian asked stepping close to him. 

"Get in the car" Mr Milkovich told Ian before giving him another kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

Adrian stumbled along the path outside the Milkovich house. Mandy and her dick head boyfriend, Archie were outside. 

"Fuck you, you crazy bitch" Archie barked while walking away. Mandy threw a bottle, which just missed him. 

"FUCK YOU!" Mandy yelled back with her middle fingers up. Adrian grinned while watching with a drink in his hand. Archie sped away. 

"Hey" Adrian said with a gigantic grin, obviously drunk. 

"The fuck you doing here?" Mandy yelled. Adrian shrugged. 

"Dunno" he giggled. Mandy stared at him intensely. "So are you two still together or..." Adrian began to ask. 

"The fuck do you care?" Mandy fiercely snapped. Adrian thought for a long moment. 

"You know how they say you can't truly love someone unless you love yourself" Adrian said.

"Jesus your not gonna give my a fucking pep talk like Ian..." Mandy frustratedly began before Adrian interrupted. 

"I think it's bullshit" Adrian said his grin had turned to a very serious expression. Mandy looked confused at him. 

"You do?" Her usually aggressive tone was now soft. 

"Fuck yeah. I think if you truly love someone you just forget... You forget how much you hate and your pain... the pain you feel every fucking minute it just... eases when your around them" he stared at her. His eyes glistened with sadness. Mandy stared back, her heart beating rapidly. Adrian continued "I.. um. I helped two people be together tonight, hopefully anyway. I did it mainly to get even with one of them but I also hoped it would make me feel... Make me feel..." He lost his words and so just shrugged and stared at the floor. 

"Adrian, why did you come here?" Mandy asked. Adrian nervously laughed.

"Uh... look just promise me you won't keep going for fuckers like... that guy whatever his name was. Just please." Adrian said. He then turned around to go home. 

"Wait" Mandy called out. Adrian stopped and looked up at her. "You wanna hang out or something." Mandy asked slightly reluctant. Adrian smiled "yeah, okay" 

 

Adrian and Mandy sat watching TV for over an hour. 

"Why are so poetic when your drunk?" Mandy asked with a wide grin. Adrian just shrugged making Mandy giggle. Then, she swung herself on his lap and grabbed his face to kiss him. Adrian held her arms stopping her from doing anything else. 

"Mandy. I can't." Adrian half begged. 

"I thought you liked me" Mandy looked bewildered at him. 

"I do. I just can't do anything like that. I'm sorry" Adrian said. 

"I don't understand" Mandy replied. 

"You're more then that Mandy. Your special, funny, strong..." He had more, a lot more but was interrupted. Mandy gently pressed her lips against his. Adrian gently kissed back. It only lasted a short moment but felt amazing. Mandy grinned and got off his lap and snuggled herself against him. Adrian out an arm around her and they watched TV until they fell asleep in each others arms. 

 

Ian and Mickey arrived at the Midnight Motel. As they walked to their room for the night they held each others hand. Ian never realized how amazing it felt to hand hold. When they got the room Ian grabbed hold of Mickey and pulled him in for a kiss. Mickey nervously laughed while stepping back. 

"You promise you didn't tell that kid about us" He asked, though he didn't want to. 

"Yes I promise. He will be the only one to know, he won't tell anyone" Ian reassured him. Mickey smirked, Ian was one of the few people he could trust. 

"Well okay then" he said before grabbing Ian affectionately and kissed him. 

The two sat on the end of the lumpy bed making out with music playing out loud. Then Mickey examined the bed. 

"Fuck, how are we supposed to sleep on this piece a shit" he complained. 

"I can think of other things we can do" Ian flirted, while pulling at Mickey's belt. 

"Oh yeah and what might that be?" Mickey said while giggling. Then they went back to kissing. After a while Ian stood and undid Mickey's belt, then began pulling of his pants. Mickey did the same with Ian's. When their pants were off Ian took off his top. 

"Turn around" Ian half ordered. Mickey did as he said with a pleasured giggle. 

"You're a top huh?" He teased. 

"Bottom huh?" Ian teased back. 

"Fuck yeah, put it in me bitch" Mickey excitingly urged.

Ian gently fucked Mickey for quite some time. When they were tired out they led in bed with their heads together. 

"Mickey?" Ian softly asked. 

"Yeah" 

"You're not gonna push me away again are you?" He asked with great dread in his stomach. There was a moment of silence. Mickey's breathing had deepened. 

"Ian I fuck up every relationship that I'm in. But the way you make me feel, Jesus you make me feel good. I want this more then anything but I don't want to hurt you" Mickey admitted. Ian grinned widely. 

"Theres no need to worry" Ian tried to assure. Mickey pulled his head away from him.

"Ian I'm dangerous. I mean look at me I'm covered in fucking scars and look at you, your covered in freaking freckles... Have you ever thought we're too different." Mickey voice was soft and crackly. Tears were on the verge of falling. 

"I like different" Ian smiled at him. Mickey huffed in amusement.

"Of course you fucking do"


	17. Chapter 17

Ian woke with a blistering headache. His eyes could only half open before he couldn't help but tightly shut them. Mickey's grin grew as Ian groaned. He had been watching Ian sleep for about half an hour now. Mickey woke a few hours before and left to buy Ian some aspirin and breakfast and came back to Ian still asleep. 

"Jesus what's wrong with me?" Ian grumpily moaned. Mickey chuckled. 

"First hangover?" Mickey teased. Ian frowned at his voice. He quickly turned over though it hurt like a bitch. 

"Mickey?" Ian asked with a crackly voice. Mickey smiled at him and gave him the aspirin and water. Ian swallowed it and examined the room. 

"Did we?" He began to ask. 

Mickey angrily sighed. "Don't tell me you don't fucking remember" Mickey raised his voice in disappointment. Ian stared at him, his painful head caused him to squint. Then the memories came back. The kissing, the undressing and then the fucking. The amazing fucking. Ian chuckled and rested his head on the pillow.

"I remember now" he said with a huge grin. Mickey grinned "you better do bitch." He responded. 

Ian and Mickey snuggled up to each other in bed while eating their breakfast, even though it was after 1.

"What are we going to do fire crotch?" Mickey said after a moment of comfortable silence. Ian nearly chuckled at the nick name.

"Well we could do some more fucking, maybe some dick sucking" Ian answered, giggling into Mickey's arm.

"You know what I fuckin meant. What are we going to do at school. Are we gonna bang there or we gonna keep havin to go to shitty places like this motel?" Mickey hated ruining moments like these but his fear always had a way of controlling him. Ian snuggled more into Mickey's body and Mickey gripped him harder under his arm. 

"Cant we just leave. Just get in a car and go wherever and never look back." Ian shyly asked. 

"That really what you want?" Mickey half whispered. 

"What do you want?" Ian broke away from Mickey and stared into his eyes. Mickey stared back, silent for what felt like ages.

"You..." he finally answered. Joy filled Ian like a violent flood. He almost pounced onto Mickey's lap and kissed him hard. Mickey wrapped his arms tight around Ian's naked body as he passionately kissed back. 

"Fuck I want you" Mickey said between heavy breaths and kissing. Ian undid Mickey's belt and quickly ripped off his pants. Then he sucked his dick as Mickey pulled at his fiery locks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait and short chapter but I hope you like it :)


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